The Real Reason You’re So Dang Tired

Jul 31

I used to think my exhaustion was just part of being a high-achieving, purpose-driven woman.

I thought it was the price I paid for caring deeply, showing up fully, and doing all the things on my list, including the ones that weren’t even mine.

But the truth? My calendar wasn’t the real problem.

The deeper issue was the self-abandonment I had normalized. Saying yes when I meant no. Smiling when I wanted to cry. Carrying the emotions of everyone around me like it was my job.

I wasn’t tired because I did too much. I was tired because I kept betraying myself in small, silent ways, every single day.

And this is the part most people won’t talk about, especially in the personal growth world or leadership spaces that reward being “on” all the time. But this is the root of real healing.

Burnout isn’t always about time. Sometimes, it’s about being radically honest with ourselves.

One of the most common things I hear from high-achieving clients, who are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, in our first session is, “I feel obligated to...” And every time I hear it I know, "Houston, we have a problem". And the real work begins.

I used to feel that way too, obligated to say yes, obligated to show up, obligated to put everyone else’s needs first. Especially when it came to family. But once I started questioning where those obligations came from, everything began to shift.

If you grew up in a home where guilt was used to control or motivate behavior, you might still feel the need to prove your goodness through sacrifice. Here's a truth bomb you may need today: there’s a big difference between saying yes from guilt... and saying yes from love.

One depletes you. The other nourishes you.

For the longest time, I visited my parents because I felt like I had to. My mother had a way of making me feel guilty, and the visits always felt tense. Until one day, I decided I would only go when I wanted to, and when I did, I would show up with the intention to create peace and joy. I went in without any expectations of who I wanted them to be or how I wanted them to act while I was there. I was grateful to have time to spend with them.

A couple of years later, I was sitting in the backyard with my mom, watching my dad fix the fence as the sun set. We were having a fun conversation, and out of nowhere, she looked at me and asked, “Tilde, when did we stop fighting?” I smiled and said, “When you grew up.” And we both laughed.

That moment will stay with me forever.

When I chose peace for myself, I created space for more peace in my relationships too. It wasn’t about doing less. It was about being more honest, with myself and with others.

So if you’re feeling constantly tired, ask yourself this:
- Where are you saying “yes” when your body or heart is whispering “no”?
- What story are you telling yourself about what might happen if you put your needs first?

The image you see is of my parents and I still having fun! ❤️

Did this resonate with you?

If this spoke to something deep inside you, the part that’s tired of abandoning herself just to keep the peace, then you might be ready for more than just another self-help tool.

You might be ready to H.E.A.L. - Harness Emotions with Awareness & Love.

My next 5-week live program begins Tuesday, August 26th.
This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the fear, the roles, and the patterns that no longer serve you.

We’ll explore emotional awareness, self-trust, boundaries, confidence, and real connection, and learn how to reclaim your Inner Fire.

If your soul whispered "yes" while reading this, I’d love to hold space for you inside.

Learn more about the H.E.A.L. Program here.

Come as you are. No perfection required. Just a willingness to come open.

P.S.

Is H.E.A.L. Right For Me?